Weight of the World
by Akanesi
Summary: Jack/Ianto. A strength or a weakness? "He found a man, scorned and covered with scars."


Jack doesn't feel the need to sleep. He doesn't feel the overwhelming relief of the day's end. That's part of the reason he never goes to bed alone. Because just lying there, in the darkness, helpless, with no comforting touch or solid warmth, he sometimes feels as if he's dead.

He's recently taken to remaining in bed with Ianto though. He can't remember ever doing that since he became immortal. He would just look at the sleeping person and be angry because they had the gift of sleep and he didn't and sad because he never really loved them. There was only one doctor for him.

But he found a soul mate in Ianto. When he looked into the life of his tea boy after Lisa, he found a man, scorned and covered with scars, who had gone through the pain of losing his family at a young age, losing his love and been cut off from his world, just as Jack had.

They had been together before the cyber woman but it had been half hearted and rushed, Ianto not wanting to admit he was betraying Lisa and Jack not wanting to admit the love he felt and Jack always went to Ianto. This time though, after Ianto's threats had been uttered and after Jack had forgiven Ianto for what, if done by any other member of the team, wouldn't have earned them a set of retcon and a healthy dose of memory loss, but a court martial with the charge of treason, Ianto came to Jack. It was an encounter of not many words but over the next few weeks secrets were told on both sides until Ianto knew more about Jack and Torchwood than any human who had ever lived on the planet and Jack knew every thought and feeling Ianto had ever experienced when with Lisa.

And slowly, Ianto came to terms with it. His love and loss, his stupidity and hopelessness and love for the captain. A man who he swore he would kill but ended up loving as he had no man or woman in his life. What he had with Jack was so different to what he had had with Lisa and even though Jack did not push, neither mentally or physically, Ianto found himself down in Jack's room, night after night, making excuses up to stay later than anyone so they wouldn't be disturbed.

The late nights were usually accompanied by Owen's dark looks and mutterings about,

"Shagging the boss for your own gains,"

Gwen's sly looks and encouraging smiles and Tosh's innocence and sweetness when she found out.

Jack came to terms with it as well. Loving again after abandonment was hard for him. His natural instinct told him not to trust Ianto but treat him like a potential threat. He knew everything and nothing was a threat in this world. Everything because it was unknown but Jack welcomed the wonder of yet another unknown world, and nothing because he was immortal and he believed that no love could touch him or eat through his barrier, and nothing did, until Ianto.

Jack knew that Ianto was a potential weakness, a human, which could mean abandoning another member of his team that needed him more, letting an alien escape or worse let his feelings get in the way of saving the world.

But Ianto was also strength. After they had been together six months, Jack had spilled every single secret that he contained to Ianto's waiting ears. That was dangerous he knew and he knew that he was endangering Ianto by telling him his secrets and he could barely stand that, but he need someone he could tell anything to. Someone who he wouldn't have to ask if it's alright to skip dinner every once in while. Someone he could trust.

And Ianto needed it too. The security of another person who understood the loneliness and eternal blackness. Another person who had been abandoned and hurt by the one they hold most dear. Another who had experienced hell and survived. Another lost soul.

Ianto and Jack trust each other completely, no secrets are kept, no stone left unturned in their love for one another. They are two people, who were born at opposite ends of the galaxy, but they understand the other like they are brothers.

Ianto knows when Jack needs to be held after a hard day. Ianto knows when Jack has to cry and quietly encourages the release of feelings, knowing that Jack, although unable to cry himself to sleep, will feel better afterwards. Ianto knows when Jack has to talk and always knows what to say. And Ianto knows when all Jack needs is a really good shag and eagerly obliges.

Jack knows when Ianto needs to be helped through the pain. Jack knows when Ianto has to scream with frustration and just rocks him until it stops. Jack knows when Ianto needs to be sung to sleep. And Jack knows that all Ianto wants is to wake up in Jack's arms.

Jack and Ianto are the perfect match. Two men, fighting, with the world on their backs.


End file.
